Truth Be Told

Not all questions have answers. The most honest answers, though, do follow questions. Just not necessarily those that have been asked.

Recently, I’ve been trying to confirm what I think I know to be true: Swenny has relapsed. In the absence of proof are questions. And only questions.

Is Swenny sober? Does he forget conversations because we have so many that he can’t keep track? Or is he just tired of having the same conversation again and again? Does balance elude him because he is tired? Or tipsy? Is humiliation really the reason he refuses to take a breathalyzer? Doesn’t he want to prove me wrong in my assumption that he’s relapsed? Or can’t he? What did he spend $7.47 on yesterday? How much is a pint of vodka, anyways?

Where is he hiding the bottles?

Why won’t he look at me?

What is it that I really want to know? That he’s sober? Or that he’s not?

If the truth sometimes rests most comfortably in answers to questions that remain unasked, I need to learn how to choose mine more carefully.

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4 thoughts on “Truth Be Told

  1. Ad dy says:

    Whatever his answers would be, I think you know your gut reaction is the truth. So sorry he has relapsed. This is the nature of that horrid beast called alcoholism. Just like a roller-coaster, one minute you soar to the heights and then the next get dragged quickly back to the depths. You need to be able to find your inner peace to be able to cope with this. Have you got an Al-Anon meeting near you where you can open your heart to like-minded people living with alcoholism?

    Like

      • Ad dy says:

        I know what you mean. I stuck it out for several years but it did not seem to help me like it does some people. What I did like was the friendship and just being able to compare stories. Just knowing I was not the only one with the problem.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. George McNeill says:

    My heart goes out to you both, the needs of one are not the needs of both.
    The statement above comes from many a long evening talking to a dear friend of mine. He was a person who had a drink dependency problem all his life, from a teenager onwards. He was sober when we first met and he remained so for the rest of his life. He did tell me about his life, relationships, work and the feelings and emotions he fought with.The questions that were forever asked, and never answered. He once told me I never judge him and that was his rock.
    Some times when we keep the door open the truth comes without the questions.
    Love to you both

    Liked by 1 person

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