From Rescue to Recovery

For at least 10 years, I have treated Swenny’s alcoholism as a rescue effort.  Always searching for signs of life that I could pull to safety.  With relapse after relapse, though, coming lately as staccatos separating shorter and shorter periods of sobriety, I have shifted my mission from rescue to recovery.

And not the type of recovery that leads to a future.  The kind that acknowledges the end.  The kind that accepts defeat to minimize any further risk.

Another week of drinking, denial and tears has taken from me whatever fight I had left in our  quest for sobriety.  Instead, I find myself pulled from the anguish of alcoholism, limp and lifeless, having surrendered to its force.

Where optimism was once my strongest recourse, it’s now gone.  Missing.  Engulfed in a wave that has left me with one last gasp.  A gasp I choose to spend uttering the words, “I give up.”

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4 thoughts on “From Rescue to Recovery

  1. George McNeill says:

    Never say” I give up”. Try “I accept” , I accept only Swenny can help himself. I accept, it is what it is in this present moment. Stop fighting with yourself it’s not your battle, you can continue to give love and support without wanting anything in return. When we label something it defines it , like he is an alcoholic. Remove the label and you have a person with an illness, he drinks. If it was cancer or any other illness would people give up or accept. What ever you and Swenny decide to do, love and compassion to you both.
    Also the self talk stories in our heads are only stories. Whats right for you, you will feel.

    Liked by 2 people

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